Naomi Osaka admits there were moments this year when she felt "ashamed" of her body and also feared it would "shrink" but now is proud of herself for not quitting and getting to where she wants to be.
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After announcing pregnancy just before the 2023 Australian Open, the Japanese also confirmed she would miss the entire season and try to return at the start of this year. And after welcoming her first child last July, the four-time Grand Slam champion got to work and launched her post-pregnancy comeback in the first week of the 2024 season in Brisbane.
In Australia, Osaka went 1-2, having lost in the Brisbane round-of-16 and the Australian Open first round, respectively. Early in her return, it was evident that her fitness still wasn't where it needed to be - but it wasn't anything surprising considering that she hadn't played in 16 months and that she had given birth just a couple of months earlier.
Now, the 27-year-old admits that she had a hard time while trying to return her body to its past shape. Specifically, one of the things that was making the Japanese feel bad was that she had been putting up gym work daily but her body just wasn't responding.
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"Honestly I dont really know what to caption this post. I wanted to say 'body changes throughout the year' but it actually means a lot more to me than that. There were moments this year where I felt really ashamed of my body, (for example when I had to wear form fitting tennis clothes lol). I was also constantly struggling with this overwhelming urge to 'snapback', seeing other moms seemingly shrink immediately after having their baby was an expectation I began to put on myself," Osaka wrote on Instagram.
"That self comparison always hurt because I felt as an athlete I should be losing weight quicker than most, I was in the gym everyday so that thought didnt feel too unrealistic. Most weeks would feel similar to the previous week and the weight didnt disappear overnight so it was a bit disheartening.
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"To get to the point Im at now was definitely a journey, an adventure I know that Im still embracing. All bodies are different and I appreciate mine for how it is. My body has done so much for me and adapted so well to the tasks that Im asking from it, Im extremely grateful and thankful. While typing this I realized that if I had to title this post it would be super long and go like- 'thank you body for the journey over the past year, Im excited to learn more about what youre capable of in the years to come.'"
This is not the first that Osaka opened up in such a way
Since revealing her battle with depression and anxiety in 2021, the former world No. 1 has been pretty transparent about everything regarding her career and life.
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Before and after starting her post-pregnancy return. the 27-year-old made it clear that she came back for Grand Slams. But after her comeback started in a rough way and she wasn't getting the results she wanted, Osaka didn't hide that she was disappointed and frustrated.
And in August, the Japanese's frustration culminated after she suffered a three-set loss to Ashlyn Krueger in the Cincinnati qualifying final round. A day later, the two-time Australian Open champion issued a heartbreaking note, revealing she didn't feel like she was in her body.
"My biggest issue currently isn't losses though, my biggest issue is that I don't feel like I'm in my body. It's a strange feeling, missing balls I shouldn't miss, hitting balls softer than I remember I used to. I try and tell myself 'it's fine you're doing great, just get through this one and keep pushing', mentally it's really draining though.Internally I hear myself screaming 'what the hell is happening?!?!'" Osaka shared in mid-August.
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In that same message, the former world No. 1 explained that something simply felt off in her game and touch. And she suspected she was probably "being postpartum."
"Don't get me wrong, I've played a handful of matches this year that I felt like I was myself and I know this moment is probably just a small phase from all the new transitions (clay, grass, clay, hard etc), however the only feeling I could liken how I feel right now to is being postpartum," the Japanese said.
Meanwhile, Osaka reached the round-of-16 at the WTA 1000 tournament in Beijing earlier this month before suffering unfortunate back and abdominal injuries. A couple of days ago, she retired from this week's Hong Kong Open and the upcoming Billie Jean King Cup FInals, which meant her season was over.
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With new coach Patrick Mouratoglou, Osaka will hope to return healthy in 2025 and do some big things.
