Tanya Oxtoby: Northern Ireland allows me 'to be a mum and a coach'

Northern Ireland head coach Tanya Oxtoby speaks exclusively with 90min about her time as an international manager ahead of Euro 2025 play-off.

Northern Ireland secured a spot in the final play-off stage of Euro 2025 qualifying following a rather dramatic finish in the October tie with Croatia. A late own-goal from Croatia meant that Northern Ireland scraped through to the last stage with an aggregate 2-1 victory over the two legs.

Head coach Oxtoby told 90min that she is "so proud" of the players for making it here. "You see how much it meant to them. You know to to make sure that we got the point and we come back. It is clean slate. Basically, we're in a great position."

The nation now turn their attention toward the extremely tough test of facing Norway in the two-legged play-off final to qualify for next summer's European Championship. Mic'd-up during one of her Northern Ireland training sessions, Oxtoby's message to her players was clear- "Let's be positive and be brave okay. Cause them some problems, not make it easy for them."

Before taking on the head coach role in Northern Ireland, Oxtoby spent two seasons coaching alongside Emma Hayes in the Women's Super League (WSL) at Chelsea between 2021 and 2023. Prior to that, she had been a head coach with Bristol City. But the 42-year-old spoke on how motherhood played a key role in her decision to leave club football behind.

"It was a decision that I knew I had to make," explained Oxtoby. "I love club football. But you know for my son to not be present and I just felt like club football was getting to that point where I was finding it really difficult to be good at being a mum and whole heartedly be a coach as well."

"I had to make a choice. It was definitely time for me to step away from that because I just felt I didn't have anything left to give. And I think for me, obviously being at Chelsea as well, Emma [Hayes] deserved everything that I had, and I had nothing left."

"I felt like I'd given everything I could to my previous role and I just was exhausted. So I needed an environment that would allow me to be me, which is a mum and a coach, and it is a marriage made in heaven at this point."

Whilst she can be found juggling the responsibility of parenting her son, Albie, as well as trying to lead Northern Ireland's charge to the country's second successive Euros, Oxtoby shed some light on how she believes her coaching style has adapted since undertaking the new role in 2023.

"I think it's taken 12 months for the players to realise that actually, whilst I really want perfection and I want more and more and more, I'm quite relaxed most of the time if things are done to the to the highest standard. So I think at the start it was very much like, oh, I think she's a bit full on all the time. Whereas I think now they see the lighter side of me a little bit."

Football is all about working with people, a sentiment that Oxtoby echoed when reflecting on her personal values as a manager.

"I think you can chase perfection, I think you can really drive standards, but you don't need to be unapproachable by doing that," she said. "You don't need to be cold, you can still be authentic to yourself. That's probably the balance I like to try and get."