Rod Stewart pitchside at his beloved Celtic Park, holding a microphone next to Peter Schmeichel while Jamie Carragher delivers a terrible rendition of Maggie May down the line from the CBS Studio.
You look fantastic! the former Champions League winner, ranked at No.14 in FourFourTwo's list of the best Premier League defenders of all time, tells Stewart after mercifully halting his impromptu Carra-oke. I know deadpans, Stewart. He does look fantastic feathered hair, fur coat and a look in his eye that suggests he hasnt been to bed for a while and has little intention of doing so for a while yet.
Sir Rod is 80 now and probably needs no reminder, but Peter Schmeichel begins the interview by stating it. As Rod fields his first answer, Celtics PA system booms into action SHAAAAT UP! shouts back Rod in mock annoyance.
It's in his soul
Back in the studio, they erupt in loud laughter. Those who watch CBS coverage of the Champions League on Paramount+, or catch clips on social media, know that fun is a theme of their show. They dont take the analysis, or themselves, too seriously and their broadcasts are a breath of fresh air from traditional football punditry that we've sadly grown accustomed to.
Schmeichel plays the straight man and continues his scripted line of questioning: What makes Celtic such a special club? he asks Stewart.
What happened? asks Rod. If it wasnt clear at first, it is now. Hes enjoyed a few pre-match nerve settlers in Celtic hospitality, where he is no stranger.
When Rod Stewart conducted the Scottish Cup draw - YouTube
Hes a rockstar of course, and has form for larking about. Stewart explained to FourFourTwo in 2022 what happened during THAT Scottish Cup draw in 2016-17. I'd had a couple of drinks' and they said it was fine. I'm an ad lib guy and, lo and behold. I just pissed about a bit.
Back at pitchside, he tells Schmeichel: Everybody just loves each other here, before seeming to forget hes being interviewed live on TV by a legendary footballer and stopping to ask the former keeper How you doin, you alright mate?
Ive had a couple, quips Rod while the studio roar in the background and Schmeichel continues his Michael Parkinson impersonation.
Carragher, clearly wishing he was pitchside with Rod The Mod, begins to invite himself to Celtic Park if The Bhoys can get past Bayern for a drinking session with the rocker. Ill fly you anywhere in the world you wanna go, says Stewart Ive got me own plane.
Rod then attempts to offer some considered pre-game analysis: ...if we get lucky, and dont make any cock-ups in the first couple of minutes. Did I say cock-ups?!
At this point Bayern Munich fans attempt to interrupt Rod with some chanting to welcome their players out for their warm-up.
Oi, shaaat up Im talking! Stewart instructs the away end, before turning back to Schmeichel to make a point that Celtic couldve beaten Aston Villa in the league stage if Cameron Carter-Vickers and Daizen Maeda werent absent.
Do you think they [Celtic] have a chance tonight, asks Schmeichel, blandly. Course I do, otherwise I wouldnt be here Peter behave yourself!
Micah Richards booms into the conversation SIR ROD! Big Meeks here what do you think of Celtics goalkeeper?
Distracted, Rod tells Schmeichel Snr. Dont tell your son before pointing to something in the crowd and shouting WAAAAAAY!
Four ex-players (Thierry Henry cant get a word in) a presenter and a rock star, its pre-match chaos, but wildly entertaining.
Presenter Abdo asks Stewart if he even knows who Big Meeks is. Big knees? No.
Schmeichel points to a shot of Richards on the pitchside monitor and the dots join in Rods champagne-fuelled mind.
Oh yeah, course I do. Michael thing before trying to hand his microphone off to Schmeichel and walk out of shot. Schmeichel doesn't let him, this is TV gold.
Rod launches into praise for Celtics goalkeeper, Schmeichel Jnr, before declaring Whatever, Im so proud. Proud of this club, proud to be a Celtic player and proud to be interviewed by Gordon Banks you better get me off air now, Im embarrassing meself.
At this point, Rods 19-year-old son Alasdair is dragged into shot because this interview clearly needs an additional person.
Abdo, probably with a producer in her ear, makes moves to wrap things up by insisting everyone joins in a rendition of Maggie May, which they do and is as out of time as it is out of tune. Rod changes the words back at school to back in goal in homage to Schmeichel.
It's charming chaos, befitting of the style and warmth CBS Sports Golazo has found via Abo, Henry, Carragher and Richards. Down-to-earth, very watchable. UK viewers are right to think 'they're having more fun than us'. The UK get Owen Hargreaves and Michael Owen. Where's our rock and roll?
You can watch CBS Sports Golazo via Paramount+ via a VPN for just $7.99 a month on the Essential package, or $12.99 for Showtime, which strips out the adverts and adds a heap of movies. All Champions League and Europa League football are included on both plans. Sometimes rock stars appear on the air too.
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