Andrey Rublev revealed he felt "completely lost" during his darkest period and also admitted that he used to often wonder what was the purpose of this life.
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Exactly 12 months ago, the 27-year-old delivered a shocking outburst in Dubai, getting into the face of a line umpire and screaming over what he felt was a missed call.
While no one approved the Russian's behavior, many wondered if there was something deeper behind his outbursts or at times even self-harming behavior.
And that's when Rublev came out publicly with his battle with major depression.
Since then, he has worked with a mental health professional but also used prescribed anti-depressants.
Rublev: When it's happening for years, you cannot take it anymore...
"It sounds a bit dramatic or whatever, but like whats the reason or purpose to live? Just completely lost with myself, the world No. 9 told Reem Abulleil of The National.
And the thing is, it was not ... One thing is when it's happening one month, two months, three months, okay, maybe you still have patience or something.
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"But when it's happening one year, two years, three years, four years, five, and it's coming for many, many years, in one moment it's like you cannot take it anymore.
Anti-depressants didn't really help much Rublev.
But after Marat Safin heard about his situation and reached out, the conversations with the Russian tennis legend and the advice he received helped a lot.
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While the 17-time ATP champion doesn't feel happy right now either, he revealed in the same interview that he is also not experiencing any bad emotions.
"I'm just neutral, not happy, not bad, but at least I found the base and that's like a beginning," the 27-year-old said.
Meanwhile, Rublev plays against Quentin Halys in his Dubai opener this week.
